Enjoy the pictures of Melissa Molinaro at Piranha nightclub in Las Vegas (July 30).

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Photo Credit: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com, Wenn.com
Read MoreEnjoy the pictures of Melissa Molinaro at Piranha nightclub in Las Vegas (July 30).


Posted by 1001web



What do you get when you mix one part Corman production remake, one part nasty, hungry critters, and one part vicarious Girls Gone Wild video? PIRANHA 3D, of course! And the party's still rocking as the film nears $100 million in combined box office and DVD sales.

Since we last mentioned that PIRANHA had received RUE MORGUE magazine's top honors for "Best Guilty Pleasure" and "Goriest Scene" among horror films of 2010, HORRORHOUND mag has also given the nod by awarding it "Best Movie (Sequel/Remake)" and "Best Gore Scene" in their Best of 2010 Voting Results.

HORRORHOUND voted PIRANHA in two of it's "Best Of" categories for 2010.

The original PIRANHA was covered in RUE MORGUE #103

And it's no small wonder that it received the highest gore scores. PIRANHA has become legendary for it's reputed use of 7,500 gallons of blood that was dumped into Lake Paradise. And that's not including the mulitude of ripped up and chewed body parts!

Also noteworthy is Director Alexandre Aja's skillful use of the beach babe motif (after all, what beach monster movie is worth a darn without 'em?), evidenced by such sun-drenched lovelies as Kelly Brook (Danni), Riley Steele (Christy), and Jessica Szohr (Kelly). And let's not forget mature minxes Dina Meyer and Elizabeth Shue, who still ain't lookin' so bad, either. One of the most talked about scenes on the street is the underwater sequence with Kelly Brook and Riley Steele. They also stir up the margueritas with a hot little dance number.

Kelly Brook. One mermaid you'd be nuts to throw back in.

A rare shot in the movie of Kelly Brook fully clothed. Well, almost.

Babes born to dance. The shameless sequence from the film.

PIRANHA 3D has done so well and created such a media buzz, especially in our favorite monster mags as well as the 'Net, that a sequel is planned for release this fall. The title? PIRANHA 3DD. Clever, boys!


The . . . end of the party?

Piranha 3D: For Your Consideration from Jerry O'Connell

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Why Would You Name Your Kid That? MALICE.

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Vee: It's true, I have a very non-standard name. But so far it hasn't really caused me any trouble. Sure, people mispronounce it for up to a six months after meeting me and a lot of folks assume I'm from some exotic background, but I've never been egged in the street or anything.
I DID read a study that proposed people with "difficult to pronounce" monickers are less likely to be promoted or chosen for jobs because it makes people uncomfortable. Apparently, failing to say your name correctly makes others angry at themselves, and that makes them hate you a little bit more.
I suppose they would also have a hard time remembering you... like, "who shall we hire?" "that chick... um... shit. What was her name-- ah, let's just go with Bob. He seemed exceptionally average."
But your name defines you, right? How awesome is Bob really going to be in life?
Not as awesome as me, I can tell you that straight up.
Whether my name made me as amazingly socially inept as I am, or if I was always going to be that way, it's shaped me into the reclusive, crazed artist you see today.

Jaime: I've always liked my name, and wouldn't change it for anything. I believe it sounds good, and represents me well, and the longer version holds the names of people I love. The only downside is that it's quite difficult for anyone to find me, because of the abundance of James Stewarts out there, and the unfortunate tendency for people of a certain age to make mention of the actor Jimmy Stewart when I'm introduced.

One fellow used to call me Jimbo, which was kind of cute really, but whenever anyone called me Jim or Jimmy my Mother would scowl them into submission - I'm sure there's a good reason, but if I ever knew it I've forgotten it entirely now.
Read MoreWhy Would You Name Your Kid That? MALICE.


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Vee: I don't think I'm an especially bad conversationalist.  I have a large enough cache of multisyllabic words to keep the other person guessing at the very least. 
The problem here is, when it comes to James, I get lazy. We've been together for so long and in such proximity that very little happens where both of us aren't involved. So now it takes only a glance -maybe a single word- to convey an entire memory, joke or concept.
This gets so convoluted at times that outside listeners find it impossible to decipher what, if anything, we're even talking about.
My dad is a neuroscientist and said our interactions are getting dangerously close to idioglossia.
I'm not sure why that's dangerous for anybody but Jaime. I suppose it's time to make a concerted effort to actively engage in conversation instead of just pointing to the space between my eyebrow and ear, indicating that time we saw melons at the store that looked a lot like boobs.
The only trouble is, he is very fickle, and if my topic is deemed boring -I would say that accounts for about 98% of what I, personally, find interesting- he'll start reading a book.
It's a little disheartening, really.

Jaime: We're not totally hopeless conversationalists, on the contrary, many a night has been spent endlessly debating the merits of super hero powers or exchanging our views on everyone we know personally and why they're terrible - but, there is a tendency (particularly when in public) to utter little more than grunts.

She keeps insisting that we should learn American Sign Language together, and while I think that would work the majority of the time, I just know that eventually we'll look up from a furtive and offensive signed conversation to find a stranger at the other end of the subway car glaring at us, mouth wide open, a look of terrified indignation on their face...


Fond Functions

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Vee: Yes, I have the type fondness for machines that most people reserve for dogs or cats.
When I see a floppy drive sitting on the side of the road, abandoned amongst the refuse, I shed a tear.
The sound of a rotary dial makes me feel nostalgic in a way you probably associate with Christmas at home or visiting your old school.
My best memories are screens of scrolling block text, excitement hearing the tail-end of a 56k modem connecting, and the heady days where a new email was novel.
At work we're decommissioning one of our old servers soon. On that day I will bawl, and people will stare, uncomprehending.

Jaime: Her affinity with and connection to technology is frightening and awe inspiring - I've seen her face light up and cooing noises escape her lips at the sight of vintage adding machines, in a way she has never reacted to a living person. 
Which isn't to say she's a gadget geek or early adopter, oh no, just like human beings a new type of technology must wait patiently for her to welcome it into her strange and unconventional heart.
When her ancient desktop computer eventually croaks I swear we'll have a proper funeral, and she'll wear a black sleeve in mourning...
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My Heart is Primarily Composed of Sweet Tarts

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Vee: It continues. I feel like I need to put a disclaimer in here about hyperbole and how you shouldn't actually try snorting sugar. You'll get a mad infection in your nose at the very least.
In the past week the notion has, however, seemed reasonable. Gripped in fevered moments of sucrose withdrawal, pawing through the cupboards like a starving raccoon, only to find "natures candy", I have had moments of weakness.
James insists that dried apples are just as good as a Cinnibon.
He is clearly experiencing an altered state of consciousness -possibly brought on by being banned from eating anything humans are meant to consume- because those things taste like dried witch penises.
Oh yes, and anybody who gets the reference in this will be awarded a fabulous prize*.

* Prizes may be fictitious, imaginary, and/or metaphorical.

Jaime: While I've not yet witnessed her eating from a bag of sugar like a hopped up weirdo (I can't sure for certain it doesn't happen, I don't watch her all the time), I can say that she has an unnatural lust for sweets for a grown adult.

The odd thing is the restrain she uses when eating them; this is a woman who can eat a chocolate bar over a period of 3-4 days instead of 3-4 minutes... simply astounding.
Read MoreMy Heart is Primarily Composed of Sweet Tarts

The Paleo Diet

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Vee: As is the yearly tradition, James has started a new diet. This one is called the Paleo Regime or something similar -I don't know- it really should be called the Anti-Vee diet, because it nearly killed me after one meal.
In the interest of being supportive (although mostly because I'm entirely incapable of cooking for myself) I've been partaking in the new dinners he concocts.
The first one was chili and coleslaw. Now, keep in mind this is "cave man" chili, so it involved: beef. tomato. green pepper. onion. That's it.
It tasted like a hat, but I ate as much as I could before my brain could realize this was a mistake. The coleslaw was extremely chunky. Despite being German, I can't really ingest whole chunks of cabbage.
So the night went on, and I ended up buying chocolate so I wouldn't starve to death. The next morning, though, was nothing but pain. I spent an hour dry-retching while I got ready for work. My whole being was like WHERE IS THE BREAD. I NEED GRAINS. MUTINY!
What ridiculous evolutionary thing made it so that when I get too hungry I start throwing up? That's sort of counter intuitive. Apparently it's hard to get calories without carbohydrates... GO FIGURE.

Jaime: I've been eating just terribly lately, and felt it was time to purge our home of every questionable food and replace it with healthy alternatives, which, unfortunately, strips her of any feeding options and ensures her slow death by starvation.

My sympathy is... limited, considering how unfair it is that she can gobble nothing but sweets and remain petite.

If she must die for me to be beautiful, well.. at least she will not have died in vain!
Vee: Wow. What a blurb. 
That stream of consciousness brought to you by: STARVATION
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