The Paleo Diet

Posted by 1001web

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Vee: As is the yearly tradition, James has started a new diet. This one is called the Paleo Regime or something similar -I don't know- it really should be called the Anti-Vee diet, because it nearly killed me after one meal.
In the interest of being supportive (although mostly because I'm entirely incapable of cooking for myself) I've been partaking in the new dinners he concocts.
The first one was chili and coleslaw. Now, keep in mind this is "cave man" chili, so it involved: beef. tomato. green pepper. onion. That's it.
It tasted like a hat, but I ate as much as I could before my brain could realize this was a mistake. The coleslaw was extremely chunky. Despite being German, I can't really ingest whole chunks of cabbage.
So the night went on, and I ended up buying chocolate so I wouldn't starve to death. The next morning, though, was nothing but pain. I spent an hour dry-retching while I got ready for work. My whole being was like WHERE IS THE BREAD. I NEED GRAINS. MUTINY!
What ridiculous evolutionary thing made it so that when I get too hungry I start throwing up? That's sort of counter intuitive. Apparently it's hard to get calories without carbohydrates... GO FIGURE.

Jaime: I've been eating just terribly lately, and felt it was time to purge our home of every questionable food and replace it with healthy alternatives, which, unfortunately, strips her of any feeding options and ensures her slow death by starvation.

My sympathy is... limited, considering how unfair it is that she can gobble nothing but sweets and remain petite.

If she must die for me to be beautiful, well.. at least she will not have died in vain!
Vee: Wow. What a blurb. 
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