Vee: Up until recently, James still thought my birthday was on Halloween. Despite correcting him several times, he still continued to celebrate it on the 31st, saying 'it was just so fitting'. I'm not sure he realizes how that sounds.
Let me take you through some of the milestones of my birthday celebrations:
The Halloween Karaoke
Four people show up to what is supposed to be a huge birthday bash. Two of them are random theater folk that I don't really know, and they proceed to get really, really drunk and scream at the top of their lungs.
Fail Cake: A 'Score Pie', which I suspect James made up on the spot. It was basically crushed candy bars, covered in cool whip, pooped into a store bought pie crust.
The Hobo Special
James is unemployed, and thus, can not afford presents. What he does spend his money on is a disgusting instant cake -which I have been quite vocal about hating since the moment I met him.
Fail Cake: It was like eating packing peanuts covered in excessive gobs of icing.
Disney World
We book this vacation randomly, which culminates with us arriving exactly on the magical day I have come to rue vehemently. James is so gripped by a child-like glee at being near smelly men in mascot costumes that he completely forgets it is my birthday, despite the fact I am wearing a huge button proclaiming I am 'The Birthday Boy or Girl'.
Fail Cake: No cake at all.
So you can understand that when he said I could have whatever I wanted, I took full, terrible advantage of that, combining my aspirations and humiliation into one delicious gift of VENGEANCE.
