Vee: It's that time of the year again- time for every ectomorph in the world to fade into obscurity for a couple of months.
Everybody's New Years diet is in full swing, and this means three things: they are hungry, they are cranky, and they hate you with a fiery passion that can boil over in a starvation-induced frenzy at any moment.
Walking by, seeing you shoving cookie crisps down your gullet while you sit there in your size 2 pants, fills them with Shakespearean fury. God forbid you are asked to join them for lunch.
My only advice is: order a salad, and LIE. You choke down that disgusting pile of lettuce [even though the 1/2 chicken with potatoes and gravy looks SO FUCKING GOOD at the next table], say you work out five times a week and eat nothing but raw food. Then, you will be an inspiration, instead of a target for their craving-induced beam of irrational anger.
Everybody's New Years diet is in full swing, and this means three things: they are hungry, they are cranky, and they hate you with a fiery passion that can boil over in a starvation-induced frenzy at any moment.
Walking by, seeing you shoving cookie crisps down your gullet while you sit there in your size 2 pants, fills them with Shakespearean fury. God forbid you are asked to join them for lunch.
My only advice is: order a salad, and LIE. You choke down that disgusting pile of lettuce [even though the 1/2 chicken with potatoes and gravy looks SO FUCKING GOOD at the next table], say you work out five times a week and eat nothing but raw food. Then, you will be an inspiration, instead of a target for their craving-induced beam of irrational anger.
Jaime: There was a time when I gazed down at a body ravaged by a decade of sedentary work and a love of food that borders on the perverse and I said "I shall get in shape." I counted calories and logged meals, meticulously planning every aspect of my diet. I biked EVERYWHERE. I joined health clubs. I went to the gym five days a week. I was a paragon of will power. After two months of this bullshit I measured up and realized I had lost not a single inch on my waist... and then I looked over at the love of my life eating an entire tray of butter tarts in her pajamas while watching internet videos for the fifth straight hour and you could actually witness her getting thinner.
Part of me died that day.
