Vee: By now you know that I love efficiency. It is my lifeblood, my calling, my raison d'être. This is why, when I returned to work and faced a barrage of questions regarding my leave, I started to get very irritable very quickly.
Also I'm an anti-social recluse.
But I think I've figured it out. Everybody wants to know what I did, right? And saying GO READ MY TRAVEL BLOG and turning back to the task at hand makes them feel alienated, right? So, next time I go on an amazing adventure, I shall return... with slides. There will be narration, oh yes. It will be flowery, prosaic, and read in a lifeless monotone.
The accompanying audio-visual presentation will be -to put it lightly- thorough. Each milestone of the journey will be chronicled, from the flight to the state of the hotel room, to the shoes I wore on each day (the same sensible yet frugal running sneakers), to each and every piece of food I consumed- including ordinary gum brought along from Canada.
The lecture will last exactly ninety minutes long -much less time than I spent recounting the same variant of my tale to seventy separate people, incidentally- and at the end, my coworkers will be praying for it to end.
They will never, ever ask me about my absence again, leaving me to viciously attack the pile of work that was waiting for me and dispatch it in an orderly and expedient manner.
Jaime: I don't have this issue, partially because I don't work in a traditional office setting, and partially because I don't really know or speak to anyone on a daily basis (in the social sense). I can go several days without speaking to anyone in a friendly and convivial manner! Unfortunately, this also means I've gone slightly mad over time, and forgotten how people interact properly.
In the months I spent working at home, I became accustomed to 8-10 hours of absolute and uninterrupted serenity every day, and so now when I try to hold a conversation there are very long periods of silence as I spectacularly fail to make small talk.
Person: "How was India?"
Me: "Certainly an experience."
Person: "Uh.. did you see much?"
Me: "Oh, no, not much."
Person: "Uh.. did you see much?"
Me: "Oh, no, not much."
Person: "....."
Me: "Pooped like a wild fire hose though..."
